When I saw that Go Graham Go! was having a Raising a Well-Mannered Child series on her blog I was excited since I just attended a Love and Logic conference geared towards younger children (up to age 6) just yesterday!
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My 3 year old daughter has been really pushing the limits lately- I am embarrassed to say this actually-in fact I wasn't going to even blog about it because I thought I'd just handle it as quickly as possible and "make it go away". I have always thought of myself as a pretty competent mommy... I am the oldest of a family of 8 kids and whether I wanted to be or not I was kind of like a second mommy at times (or at least I felt that way.)
I am also a teacher (taught 5-8 grades before having two sweet little girls) and I love all things children. Sooo... I guess I thought I could just handle everything and my child would be the gleaming example of perfection at every playdate and event (okay, I exaggerated on that part... but you get my drift!)
So I decided it might be wise for me to check out some different parenting ideas and I attended Love and Logic yesterday.
I learned some GREAT things (some of these were DUH moments for me... I knew them... I simply wasn't DOING them!)
1. Adults set limits in loving ways without anger, lecture, threats or repeated warnings.
Okay, I can already tell you I suck at this! LOL I talk, talk, talk, my daughter to death... and I always warn quite a few times (is this because I am busy? or maybe a bit lazy on follow through at times? YES!)2.When children act up or misbehave, adults must hand the problem back in a loving way.
I am the queen of getting too angry, upset, or just emotional and making a bigger deal than necessary (your kids pick up on these "emotional cues" from you! I need to prove empathy with (FEW words) and help to solve the problem or let them make a mistake so that they will have that learning opportunity!
ONE MORE AWESOME THING TO KNOW:
1. Remember Dory from Finding Nemo? ---"Just keep swimming... just keep swimming..."
Or for us with feet... Just keep Walking!
Why? For kids under 5 years old (if you feel a tantrum coming on... or you know things will get heated)-- CHANGE LOCATION! -keep on moving--- don't stop and try to console a crabby kid at the grocery store who wants a pack of skittles... Just. Keep. Moving.
(try this out- it really, really works- changing location will calm your child down and keep it from becoming a very big scene- as soon as the child knows you are NOT going to give them the attention they want... things will start improving and you will have time to decide what to do next.)
**I am so thankful I was able to go to a Love and Logic Conference- the two speakers were Jim Fay and his son Dr. Charles Fay and they really did an excellent job. Check them out if you get a chance!
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** One Last Note:
If you have had people say things such as this to you about your child... " My, she is such a busy little thing" or "Wow, does he ever stop moving"... or "Gee, she just goes a mile a minute..." (I have been told all of these about my 3 year old) then you should check this book out called Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Krucinka (bought this on Amazon)
- I am still reading it and plan to share with you any little gems of knowledge once I am finished- so far it has been very interesting!
Good luck to all of you on your parenting quest!! :)
xoxo,
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